Chyna

Dogs are better than men because...

Dogs don't have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you're gone.

You never have to wonder if your dog is good enough for you (or if you're good enough for your dog).

Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.

Dogs don't criticize your friends.

Dogs admit to and show jealousy.

Dogs don't play games with you (except fetch - and they never laugh at how you throw).

Dogs are happy with any video you rent because they know the most important thing is that you're spending time together.

Dogs aren't threatened by your intelligence.

You can train a dog.

Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.

You don't have to be suspicious of your dog's dreams.

Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.

Dogs understand what "no" means.

Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.

Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.

Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

Dogs think you are a culinary genius.

You can house-train a dog.

You can force a dog to take a bath.

Dogs don't correct your stories.

Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair...or two women with short hair.

Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving, and they never step on the imaginary brake.

Dogs admit it when they're lost.

Dogs don't fill your purse with their stuff.

Dogs don't care whether you shave your legs.

Dogs take care of their own needs.

Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

Dogs are nice to your relatives.

However...

Both men and dogs tend to take up too much space on the bed.

Both have irrational fears about running vacuums.

Both are threatened by their own kind.

Both like to chew wood.

Both mark their territory.

Both are bad at asking you questions.

Neither tells you what's bothering them.

Both tend to smell riper with age.

The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

Neither does any dishes.

Both fart shamelessly.

Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

Both like dominance games.

Both are suspicious of the postman.

Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.

Neither understands what you see in cats.